Monthly Archives: February 2013

You Were a Sign

Days pass us by, one sunrise after another, leaving the past behind without any chance of returning back. I do not know where you are these days. You no longer tell me about your thoughts, your feelings or how your days are… the simple answer to ‘why’, is that I am no longer a part of your life. You are no longer to be seen in my life either.
It pains me to know that we shared out every day, from sunrise to sunset, laughter and tears, and now I do not know what colour your toothbrush is anymore.

Sometimes life forces us travel on journeys we do not wish for. Adventures that are unexpected, maybe sometimes not even welcomed. It packs your bags and sets you off in the direction that it chooses. Life changes and so do we, with the same pace as people enter and exit life, we stretch our legs again and move on. Not because we want to, but because life goes on, and we must do the same.

I sometimes wish that you would show up on my doorstep, take all my pain and sorrow away, and I would hide in your arms again. I want this all to be a dream, a bad dream, and as I wake up you will still be there by my side.

I feel your presence, we share space but not time. Passing each other by in different moments, too far away to know that we actually are in the same place, just not in the same time… You are still close to me, although none of us is aware of it. Perhaps it is better this way. Perhaps the memory of you will fade away sooner than I wish for. Perhaps, this is your dream now.

My life will be light and bright again, I am certain of this part. No, you did not take my sunshine away, however there are clouds on my sky at this moment, and a little bit of rain every now and then. And although this creates the most beautiful rainbow in my life, I rather be with you.

As days pass us by, I know that you will soon just be another memory, another sign on my journey through life, yet I wished you would be a destination. A place where I could stay, be safe and feel that I belong. Instead you turned out to be a sign for me.
How did I know if I was ready to read you, I cannot tell. Perhaps you were written in a language I could not speak when we first met. By the time I learned your language you were gone, and left I stood with words I wanted to share with you. Proud to finally be able to read what the sign said, you turned around not to come back. The language I just learned to read and write was no longer of any usage… You were gone. You are still gone.

Days pass us by, sunrise after sunrise, and I now know you were just a sign on my path through life. Showing me the direction I was heading towards. One step further. One step closer.
However, I wish you would turn out ti be my destination.

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Filed under Encouragment, Every day life, Love

Haunting Me

I still hear your voice. I still feel your touch. The scent of your body is so fresh in my mind as if you were there, right by my side. As I walk through life I can sense you walking next to me, yet, as I look to my side, you are not there. In fact, you are walking in some other direction. Truth is, you are not even on the same path as I am. Indeed, you are not even intending to make a turn and walk by my side again.

I pass by the places where we were happy. Where we were two, together. They make me shiver and I fight not to break. I know you are close, just around the corner is where you are. However, you wish not to be found. You are instead haunting me with our past. Where we loved and laughed. Moments where we lived and shared lights in the darkness. The times when I was your first and last wish.

My heart is now empty and I am left scared. Frightened to move, haunted by the memories. Our memories. Moments I want to forget, while at the same time wishing they would come back. It all feels like the time we had together were splits of seconds in a lifetime. Seconds of love. That was all we had. That was all we were given. Now that is all I am left with. The haunting memory of the seconds we shared, making me scream, shiver, making me cry. But what for? You are no longer walking by my side to give me comfort. Your arms are no longer my castle and I must walk side by side to the memory of you. Still hearing your voice. Still feeling your touch. The scent of your body still so fresh in my mind. Haunting me.

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Filed under Love